party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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