She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
