I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
another moral hangover. fuck.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
