I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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