Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
