i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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