that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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