So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
