if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
