JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
