guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
