i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dicks are not precious.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize