I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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