I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
