she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
