i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were trust falling into bushes
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
