we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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