Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
