How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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