You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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