Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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