He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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