i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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