She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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