its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize