so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
