He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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