Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I could fuck to npr.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
