My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
organizing the empties. That sober.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
