I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
