i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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