2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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