Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
