We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
