How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
