I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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