yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
