I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
