yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
