I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
