When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
