i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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