they need to just BURY HIM!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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