he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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