wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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