Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
