Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
