i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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