Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
