She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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