I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
