He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
