Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
