You're my little dorito
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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