it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize