The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
