I'm drive I can fine osifer
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize