Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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