its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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