I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
