Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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