I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize