Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
