worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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